Coming out isn’t easy but, shedding light on the strength it takes someone to do so is important not only for the LGBTQ+ community, but also those who are not part of it. 

Two locals have shared their coming out stories and experiences.  They proudly share their stories and offer advice to many who may struggle to come out.

One of them is 23 year old Miles Foster who identifies as bisexual and uses the pronouns he/him. At the age of 15, he attended an all boys Catholic school. Despite the fact, this didn’t stop him from having a girlfriend. He had a girlfriend that went to school in Los Angeles. Through this relationship, he then  began to have feelings that he did not understand. He had feelings for both males and females but was still confused about what he was truly feeling. Eventually, he told his girlfriend at the time that he was bisexual. After Foster told her, news spread like wildfire. His girlfriend told her best friend, her best friend told someone else and before he knew it, the whole entire school knew. Random students would come up to him and ask if he was gay and was ultimately forced to come out. He felt pressure in needing to tell everybody he was gay instead of hiding it.

As a black male at a predominantly white Catholic school, Foster felt he was already different. Being gay was just another thing that made him stand out. Instead of him thinking about it negatively and feeling shame, he chose to stand his ground and remain confident. When other students asked him if he was gay, he  proudly owned up to it. While he was still figuring out his feelings and his sexuality, one thing he knew was that he wasn’t straight. 

It eventually came the time to tell his parents about his sexuality. Once Foster told his family, they didn’t quite understand how he was feeling. For a few months, they were not the most supportive people in the world. But after some time, his parents realized that’s their son and questioned why they wouldn’t accept him. They welcomed him and his sexuality with open arms after having that realization. 

While being forced out of the closet isn’t ideal, Foster believes that it may be a little easier than having to come out yourself. He says, “You don’t need to find the words. You don’t need to tell people you’re gay, they already know and the hard part is done.”

He was happy he didn’t have to hide it anymore. The thought of being his true self kept him going and moving forward living his life to the fullest. Once he graduated high school , he moved to New York where he was able to meet people  like him and felt comfortable. It was during his time spent in New York where he  found himself and realized he was bisexual, not just a gay male. Now, he moved back to California and has an amazing relationship with friends and family.

Family is something so special and important to most people and if you don’t have a supportive family at first they may turn around and if they don’t there are many people that build their families.

Charmayne Peterson a mom of two, identifies as pansexual and uses pronouns she/ they/them. She always loved her feminine side but knew she was more than that. She doesn’t have a grand coming out story. Peterson’s sophomore year of high school, she became friends with an openly lesbian female. After their friendship flourished, romantic feelings began to develop. One thing led to another, and they started dating. She says, “I felt so happy walking around holding my girlfriend’s hand, I was so surprised more people weren’t shocked that I was dating a female.”

When it came time to tell her family about her relationship, she was welcomed with open arms and love. Peterson’s family was very supportive due to her brother being an openly gay male.

Peterson had a simple coming out story since she already had family members part of the LGBTQ+ community. There was no need for her to have nervous feelings about coming out, it just happened. 

Coming out has its difficulties, some have it simple and others not so much. While everyone’s experience will be different, it is best to do what works for you. These stories aren’t meant for anyone to feel they need to hurry and come out but it is to show  two different sides of coming out. 

Foster shares some last words of advice and says, “Coming out isn’t easy, but I would say for people that haven’t come out yet, do it at your own pace and what feels right for you.”