Balancing college with a long-distance relationship isn’t easy— but a lack of face-to-face connection doesn’t have to be the end of romance. Especially around this time of year, plenty of college students are either figuring out how to manage a long-distance relationship or already feeling the strain of being apart. Delaney Jackman, an online student at Fullerton College states, “I never thought I’d be in a long-distance relationship, but it’s not as hard as it seems.” With a little effort, the right mindset and these five steps, your long-distance relationship can feel closer than you might think.
- Setting Clear Expectations
Let’s face it; college schedules are unpredictable. One week you’re carefree and out partying and the next your knee deep in assignments and accidentally forget to talk to your significant other. That’s why it’s important to talk openly about expectations. “We try to FaceTime every night, but we don’t put any pressure on it if we can’t.” Jackman shares. Being transparent with one another about your routines helps you both feel more connected, even when things get restless.
2. Beyond “How Was Your Day?”
Although you may have the urge to text your partner every second of the day, it’s not always necessary and can be overwhelming. Having the right balance of communication is key to a healthy and stable LDR. What’s also important is the quality of the conversations. Having talks about parts of your day like something funny that happened during class, random things you saw on campus or even a heads up about them going to a party can make your partner feel more included in your life, and you in theirs. Even short but meaningful check-ins matter more than you’d think.
3. Modern Love, Old-school Distance
We live in a time where you can send an instant text message instead of waiting for their letters to come in the mail. (Although handwritten notes can still feel extra special). Jackman says, “we love to do movie nights through certain apps. He’ll also DoorDash my favorite dinner or randomly get flowers delivered to my house.” Even apps like “Candle” can spice things up a bit when things might start to feel a bit dull. Candle allows you and your partner to answer daily prompts, send cute drawings to each other’s screen and even has sweet virtual thumb kisses. But adding a sprinkle of old-school romance can elevate the experience. Creating a scrapbook of memories, sending surprise care packages or even a journal that you add to and send back and forth can enhance that timeless spark technology can’t compete with.
4. Making Every Mile Worth It
Having something to look forward to can help with the pain of being miles away. Even if you only see them once every month, or every semester, just knowing when you’ll see each other next can bring a feeling of excitement. Having a countdown to the next visit or trip, whether it’s during spring, fall or summer break, can help make the distance feel more temporary instead of endless. As important as planning to see each other is how you spend that time. Because you don’t see your partner as often as you used to, they hold more emotional weight. Visits don’t need to be elaborate or expensive, ideas like cooking a meal together or running errands can feel more meaningful. The key is presence. Gestures like giving undivided attention, being in the moment, and creating memories can carry you through the distance.
5. Love You Can Count On
Trust is one of the key things to any relationship, but it’s just as, if not, more important in long-distance ones. With college comes new people and experiences, so it’s only normal to feel some kind of insecurity or overthinking when your partner is miles away too. The best thing to keep those feelings at bay is being honest and supportive. “We both go to therapy to balance out our emotions and regulate ourselves better. We also talk A LOT, making sure our needs are met,” Delaney adds.
You might feel (or be trying to pretend) as if nothing is wrong, but your partner could be having a hard time. “Our communication- I cannot stress the importance enough,” she says. “We have no problem telling each other when something is bothering us and how to fix it.” Remember that you’re a team and the distance is just for now.
Being long-distance isn’t easy, but it also doesn’t have to feel impossible either. Delaney advises, “The best advice I can give is not to give up immediately when distance becomes an issue. Try to see if something can work out.” Though the miles can be tough, if you put in the effort, long-distance can actually make your connection stronger.
Taken from the Winter 2025 print issue of Inside Fullerton. Read it here.
