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How to Go on a Solo Date with Yourself

A guide for introverts on how to go on a solo date to build confidence and self-love.
Spending+quality+alone+time+is+crucial.+After+all%2C+the+longest+relationship+we+have+in+our+lives+is+with+ourselves.
Eli Young
Spending quality alone time is crucial. After all, the longest relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves.

Imagine this—you’re mindlessly walking down the street as the orange hue of the sun fades away and a chilly breeze hits your face. You turn the corner to notice a lively restaurant a few steps ahead. As you get closer, an aroma of freshly baked sugar cookies fills your nose and the warmth coming from inside invites you in. A waiter greets you and asks “For how many?” With a smile, you reply: “Table for one.”

(Eli Young)

We find ourselves in a season where #selfcare or the phrase “loving myself era” is trending on social media. However, to some people, the thought of simply going out by themselves stirs up anxiety. People have the notion that going out alone puts a spotlight on them—making it uncomfortable to do normal things like eating dinner by themselves. We want to provide a guide that flips the script and encourage you to go on your first solo date with ease.

For starters: think of it as a self-care day—a way for you to spend quality time alone, free of stress, and re-energize yourself. This allows you to practice self confidence, foster a positive relationship with your emotions, and be more in tune with your feelings. 

A piece of advice is to start small. Try going to your local coffee shop or have a picnic. Jacy Baca, a computer science major at Fullerton College, gave her take on a solo date. “I really enjoy going to the park. I like to draw and bring a little snack and just practice breath work. I like to remember—okay—I’m grounded in the present moment and just practice mindfulness,” Baca says. She also mentions that you’re with yourself 24/7 and taking the time to go on a solo date can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin. 

This time alone is a good moment to do something you like. Ansley Tran, who lives in Lakewood, says, “I like going to the mall by myself and also getting boba.” When asked why she likes solo dates, she mentioned that it’s a period for her to do something she likes without having to worry about other people. 

Tran also mentions that a good way to ease anxiety when out alone is to have a form of self-defense. We want to have fun when out alone, but also to be safe. Tran advises to bring pepper spray and remember to stay aware of your surroundings, especially at night. 

Solo dates are a great way to shift your mindset to feel empowered in your ability to enjoy your solitude—while also making good use of the “in my loving myself era” phrase. A key tip that many solo daters advise is to simply go for it. Feelings of anxiety and insecurity with the unwavering thought that others are looking at you while out alone is a common feeling. However, when you slip into that mindset, remember what Baca says: “Nobody thinks about you as much as you think about yourself.”

(Kasey Crosby)

Solo Date Itinerary

Just starting:

2 p.m. Head to Dripp in Fullerton, maybe bring a journal, book or some work to finish. Spend this time to be in the moment. Enjoy a cup of coffee/tea and delight in their seasonal drinks.

(Kasey Crosby)

3:30 p.m. Hit up the supermarket to grab some snacks or get your favorite restaurant to-go for a picnic. We love Omeli Kitchen in Fullerton and Luck Gai Cafe in Anaheim.

4:30 p.m. Head to Ralph B. Clark Park, Take a peaceful walk with some tunes and enjoy the fresh air. This would be a good time to unwind, eat good food and maybe take some pictures for the memories.

6 p.m. Catch the sunset and grab some boba at Katsubo located in Amerige Heights Town Center in Fullerton before heading home.

Feeling confident:

5 p.m. Freshen up and put on your main character playlist—it’s time to hit the town! Get ready in your favorite outfit to make you feel your most confident.

6 p.m. Head to a favorite restaurant that you have been wanting to go to (table for one, duh). Our faves are O Sea in Orange, Pine & Crane in LA, and Cafe Hiro in Cypress.

7:30 p.m. Go to a movie theater and watch a movie. (There’s some peace knowing you’re quietly watching the same movie as everybody else…)

9 p.m. Grab a favorite snack before heading home. (Places we love: Sunright in Fullerton, Hans’ Homemade Ice Cream in Santa Ana, SomiSomi in Fullerton, and Summerfield Tea Bar in Garden Grove.) 

10 p.m. Relax and unwind with a candle lit bath before bed.

 

Taken from the Fall 2023 print issue of Inside Fullerton. Read it here.

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About the Contributors
Marlin Tababan, Staff Writer
Marlin is a journalism major and is working towards a public relations certificate. She likes going on walks at the park or keeping it chill by playing on her switch. She loves spending time with family and friends–going out to eat, getting boba, and having game nights.
Eli Young, iF Photo Editor & The Hornet Photographer
Eli is a photography and journalism major from Compton, CA. They spend their free time playing Dungeons & Dragons and going on night walks in downtown areas for some street photography. Their end goal is to become a full-time photojournalist.  However, a big goal of Eli's is to open an art gallery in Compton where people from Compton and the surrounding area can submit their artwork to be shown in the gallery for others to see.

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